HURT DA MOST...

SO STRESS... SO TIRED... SO TENSION... SO HURT....

I've never been like this before... So stress with everything right now.. So tension with everything at this moment.. So tired every second everyday.. So hurt, trully hurt with ppl i thought can gv me a support & strength..

Yesterday was terribly bad.. I lost my patience and having an argument with sisters in front of my parents.. Juz a small cranky thinggy.. Condemn me on things dat i haven't do this and that.. Pressure me on things dat i need to do in hurry and pressure me on da lack of times i have... I've already manage my time on what should i do n where should i start and when to start on certain things.. but the pressure they gv me makes me lost control and when the arguments started, i end it up with, "I'm so damn tired with burdens i carried right now.. Pls don't add any burden to me..PLEASE!!!'.. and i walked away from them and started crying.. All this while i keep on silent on any stressed given to me by them.. but yesterday i juz can't stop myself from getting terribly mad... Nearly cry infront of my mom n dad..

I'm so hurt and dissapointed with my sisters.. Why are they gvg me all this stress and pressure me when they know at this moment i trully need eir support... i didn't ask for material, money or even a hand of help.. Juz asking for a moral support... I'm trully dissapointed with them... So damn dissapointed... After that argument, i get in my room and crying for da whole day....

All this while i've admit i'm not a good lil sis to them.. but i'm trying my best to gv da best to them to go through eir hardest time.... but why can't they do da same thing to me???

Bukan nak sangat balasan atas apa yang dah bagi kat mereka.. Bukan nak dibalas jasa yang da buat sblm ni.. bukan nak mengungkit... p nak supaya mereka MEMAHAMI.. Kalo bukan diorg, sapa lagi??? Skrg hanya blh tawakal jek.. Syukati korg la nak ckp apa, nak buat apa.. p mmg KECEWA teramat sbb tak blh nak faham adik sndri... Kecewa teramat sangat... Terima kasih sbb biarkan airmata ni mengalir sepanjang hari...

Satu jek nak mintak skrg ni.. Diri ni dah terasa susah sgt2, TOLONGLAH jangan tambah susah ni lagi.. Tolonglah... Tolonglah...

Again it happens to me...

15 days left... And i'm in a terrible fever... Semalam dah MC... Ingatkan da rest kat rumah, feeling better la.. (tido tak hingat smpai terlepas zohor.. huhu).. Mlm still ok.. boleh lagi nak bangun n buat skit preparation for my wedding... Tido lewat skit mlm td sbb siang dah tido almost 4 hours... Adat la tido siang dah lama, mlm mmg payah skit nak tido.. P itu kinda bonus sebab boleh go ahead ngan wedding preparation.. tinggal baper lama lagik ni..

Pagi ni as usual bangun pkul 4.15 pagi.. Rasa lemah sangatextend lagi smpai pkul 4.45.. Sebab nak sahur.. Nak buat puasa sunat khamis.. Pkul 4.45 pagi pun rasa cam tak larat lagik, p kuatkan jugak badan n hati bangun gak... sebab baju tak iron lagik... Ms iron baju rasa tak selesa sgt2 bdn ni.. time2 ni la teringat mak... huwaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.... kalo mak ada msti mak tolong iron kan.. tak pun mak tolong siapkan meals utk sahur.. menitik gak airmata skit.. Sabar liza... be strong... Tak lama lagik nak jadi isteri org.. takkan nak mcm ni lagik.. Pas iron baju, buat Quaker oat plus low fat milk jek.. p pahitnya rasa.. add on pisang bagi ada rasa skit... Alhamdulillah manage habiskan.. After this quaker oat ngan air panas jek.. tak lalu ngan susu.. huhu..

As usual around 5.30am mandi nak gi keje.. Panas keluar.. Air as usual pagi2 sejuk.. p bila jirus kat bdn, air panas dr badan keluar.. Aduhh... slalu kalo jd mcm ni, mmg amik masa yg lama nak baik... Rasanya dah lama tak jadi camni... Kalo demam pun biasa2 jek..p kali ni mmg teruk skit.. Mayb sbb petang2 slalu hujan.. Kdg2 balik dah hujan lebat.. terpaksa tgu gak hujan reda baru blh balik.. P kdg2 terpaksa redah takut lmbt.. Nanti kalo balik lmbt, smpai lmbt terlepas tren, sapa plak nak amik.. huhu..

Pagi ni mmg bajet nak smpai awal... Alhamdulillah Allah permudahkan perjalanan.. Walaupun ada rasa tak selesa sgt2 dlm tren tadi, p msih boleh tahan lagik.. Smpai ofc pun sblm pkul 7.30 pagi.. Langkah kecemasan in case kalo tak larat sangat2 nak tunggu smpai pkul 5 petang, at least 4.30 petang boleh balik.. P normally stay smpai pkul 5...

Might b jugak demam ni sbb penat n stressssss sgt2... Tak ada sapa yang faham camner stress nya rasa skrg ni.. Stress sgt2.. tension sgt2... Everything is different from last time.. I thought it will b da same juz like before how i managed to organized the wedding of my sister, cousins.. P rupa-rupanya tak.. Sendiri punya wedding lagik payah nak manage.. Nak2 lagik bila 90% of it sendiri buat, sendiri tanggung... Susah senang semua sendiri.. No one knows... I juz hate when there's a mouth saying, this is not complete, that tak perlu ada, kalo ada pun nanti menyusahkan diri nak urus sendiri... GOSH!!! I dont need that... i'm doing ikut peredaran masa... no one ask me what can i help u, what u want me to do.. how can i help u? Ahhh....

I have to get rid of this fever at the first place.... And i need NO any STRESS and condemn.. I need support.. Need care and love to courage me on what should i manage everything.. I'm not asking for a help... Juz asking for a pray...

FEVER ATTACKED!!!

Supposedly yesterday (sunday) me n fiance going back to Melaka to settle up some stuff for our wedding.. Sabtu, andy ada event dr pagi smpai mlm kat puchong area... Sepakat Bestari Program.. Masa dia bgtau ada event till nite, da start tak sedap ati da coz it must b a tiring day for him plus cuaca pun lately sgt2 tak memberangsangkan.. So risau he can't make it on sunday.. Not being selfish, p kesian kat dia coz he's da one yang drive balik kampung nanti... Pray harder my love tak jatuh sakit after undergo da tiring day on Saturday... Then da next morning nak balik melaka n ptg balik KL balik....huhu..

Seems dat my fiance ada event da whole day, tunang dia pun amik kesempatan jumpa member2 uitm.. Planning for karaoke n gossipping n chatting as well.. Tq so much to andy sbb let me jimba2 with my frenzy frens & memahami kebosanan tunang dia ni dok umh tak buat apa2... Otherwise he's ok with all this... Hello.. even tgh berjimba pun i still ingat tunang k.. Thank Allah dpt seseorg yg memahami.. Syukur sgt2..

Memula ingat nak balik kg jumaat ngan my sis n tgu andy smpai umh jek ahad.. p kesian plak kat andy.. Da la da whole saturday kne keje, pastu ahad balik sorg2.. then mak ckp, tak yah la balik ngan angah.. balik ngan andy jek ahad tu, temankan dia sepanjang jln.. msti penat dia still ada lagik tu.. Chewwaaahhhhh.. bkl mak mertua backing nampak.. hehe..

But stil feelin' not comfortable.. Sunday mornin wake up call pun cam buat tak buat jek... Then when he picked up da phone.. THAT IT!!!!!!!! I dun prefer to hear his voice that way.. He's having a fever.... Can feel it coz his voice quite feverish one... Ask him to hv a rest n me rang mom to let her know it's gonna b so-so that day.. When i told her andy's having a fever..mak ckp, tak yah balik.. nanti2 baru balik.. Ya... Ibu sgt memahami.. thyen called sayang so many times to told him dat, but rasa cam bersalah jek nak call dia berkali2 coz i do know he needs rest so much... told him da person we wanna meet available till 3 pm jek.. Kalo tak larat, we juz go back other days... Late nite gt a call from sayang n quite lega to hear his voice seems ok.. Plus mak n ayah already at home...

And this morning... thought he's ok based on his voice last nite... but he is not... Demam lagik sayangku.. Feelin worry.. So much worry... hope so juz a normal fever... Might b too worried coz still risau kan nenek (wilma's nenek which is mine too..) blum ada apa2 perkembangan positif lagi, n last night gak tak tido mlm sbb anak buah kne rashes n suddenly bdn si kecik tu panas sgt2.. Akibatnya aunty n mama dia tak tido mlm bergilir jaga dia... Dad kat kg pun tak berapa sihat.. alahai... Wish i can sliced myself into so many portion n be with dad, nenek, sayang, lil nephew to tk care of em.. but my pray with them alwiz....

Get well soon sayang.... dunno why really worried with ur fever.. These days illness unexpected n unpredictable...

why purple?? why rose???

purpleros4liza.... why purple and roses? This is because the 1st bouquet of flowers dat i got is a sweet purple roses from my dear fren on my birthday last 4 years... A suprised delivery from her right after i stepped out from da meeting room and here come da florist guy handed to me da purple roses.. Do love purple so much till i kinda 'fight' with my sis to take dat purple for our wedding theme.. We make a deal... Sapa yg kawin dulu boleh guna kaler purple itu.. hehe.. and her goes da purple for my wedding.. (sorry angah... u lose dat purple but lucky u get a ring from my future hubby....huhu)..

and the 'ROS'.. hehe.. why don't i choose, lavender coz i do love lavender so damn much.. 1st becoz da first bouquet handed to me was roses.. and da uniqe of rose is when da 'strength' of my beloved fiance's family... All of them using Ros infront of eir names (except mt parents in law la..).. uniqe huh...

And here comes PURPLE+ROS+4+LIZA.... @>-------

lets make da encyclopedia to start...

Slm n hi everyone...Lama da tak jd blogger.. Last time i'm quite active here.. but i closed my blog due to some of difficulties.. And now i'm back with a new blog, new person, new subject matter and everything is new... as usual, for a beginning, not much to write.. juz to share sumthing with all of u out there.. I'm figuring out what to exchange with my fiance for a hantaran coz he's giving me a Quran, da one n only thing i requested once we've get engaged..Jewelleries, shoes, handbag n so on depends on him.. i'm not requested for that.. back to da exchange hantaran, i'm planning for something.. seems dat KL Bookfair is a medium for me (a book publisher) to get da latest n da bset price of gift, i do get 1 set of encyclopedia all about Islam called 'Ensiklopedia Islam SAFIR edisi 1-15'.. da price quite expensive but for me, how expensive da price, still can't beat da knowledge dat we get.. I do tell mom dat i'm going to put da encyclopedia as one of my hantaran and she said... "tak penah dibuat org".. dats why i'm doing it seems dat my sayang love reading and i do love to make dat encyclopedia as a new collection for my mini library at home, so i do feel happy to purchased it.. thought of hvg Ahmad Dedat's debates for him, but that dvd's i can get anytime seems dat da publisher is juz KL area.. To those who are interested with da encyclopedia, it is published by DBP's and u can contact eir distributor, Perdana Marketways Sdn Bhd at bookfair..Their booth is juz next to MAPIM's booth at Dewan Tun Razak 3.. they gv u bout 30% discount and a free gift which is also a book..

**where's my dear ni... waiting for his call to get back to melaka.. Yang... where r u... nak balik sgt2 da ni..... make it hurry sayang...**